JIMMY ANDREX
(See the video here: http://jimmyandrex.com/video/)
When the Revolution Comes (hommage to The Last Poets’ When the Revolution Comes)
It won’t be live & exclusive on Sky because we no longer believe in better unless we elect a left-wing leader then it’ll all be fully funded and HD ready like Allende in Chile with embedded celebs following our brave lads bombing so-called terrorists union leaders anti-frackers stand behind ‘em or stand in front of ‘em says the sticker in The Sun ‘cos they’re the only choices when the revolution comes.
Van drivers will round up all the ageing hipsters and Facebook warriors who’ve banged on for too long about how great punk was even though they’re too young like their dads did about the war and what was it for now the balding men sneer at their sons’ CD’s not threatening enough like their dads did about queers not nearly as edgy as their current re-inventions which shrivel and die when the revolution comes.
Gangs of feral teens will smash windows in peace getting trainers for free because the chief of police will say they’re not coming out if the numbers don’t stack up but the empty boxes do and Sports Direct will be easy and free as internet porn and council houses with lawns will be a dewy myth and who wants that anyway when we’ve got all this and unlimited talk when the revolution comes.
Performance poets will post comments about the march of rhyme and reason which are going out of season like Boxing Day sprouts driven right out of town by torchlit crowds making gut-level decisions based on clickbait hate from Facebook mates who don’t believe in Nothing but will believe anything so long as they already agree and anything they dislike is the product of elites, so long expertise when the revolution comes.
The Daily Mail’s owner will be cornered by angry liberals who’ve finally snapped got their act in gear knitted their beards into artisan crosses despite deep agnostic agonies and when they nail him up he gets another shock ‘cos he’s not the martyr in the middle of the piece he’s the common thief who couldn’t see a kingdom come nailed to a tree and then to rub it in he looks to his right and the Messiah’s a Palestinian refugee when the revolution comes.
When the revolution comes we’ll all have to be cruel to be kind because it won’t happen in the streets till it’s happened in the mind and no-one walks anywhere anyhow any more in an online village where everyone listens to Public Magicians’ superstitions and common sense spells and life’s too short so being English we’ll repress it and carry on just like before and we’ll certainly bore our Facebook friends to death
With poetry & bullshit
and poetry & bullshit
and poetry & bullshit
and poetry & bullshit
before any revolution comes.
Author’s note: Based on The Last Poets’ brilliant original, this came about as the response to doing Left-wing gigs where misplaced triumphalism in the face of being steamrollered by the forces of Post-Truth and fascism made me wonder whether these were gigs for gigs’ sake, rather than meaningful campaigning.
An Italian rewriting can be found here.